I find my wife’s shoes all over our apartment. In the hallway, in the dresser and under the bed. She got a chest full of shoes and boots and boxes in the basement. If we had a attic, they would surely be there too! Sounds familiar?

So this week I came up with a smart and cheap way to store a lot of my wife’s stilettos, pumps etc. I call it the “BYGEL Stiletto Shoe Rack“!

It’s made with six 55 cm BYGEL Rail from Ikea, that I attached to the side of our dresser, creating a vertical shoe rack with a storage capacity of 18 pairs of stiletto shoes.

The BYGEL Rail is very cheap and is perfect for shoe storage as the shoes don’t get scratches and tears from lying up against other shoes and boots.

My wife was very excited and filled out the whole rack instantly and then proclaimed that since she now has lots of room for shoes, I should take her shopping for some new shoes!

While I am not “actively looking”, I find myself being looked at often – as well as directly approached – and so I look back.
I am truly amazed by much of what I see – and not in a good way.
A number of men actually have to poor sense to write into their profiles statements such as “all the women here are fakes anyhow” or “I’m not filling in my profile because it’s not worth the effort” and other statements to this effect.
I can only presume that it could be because they have either had negative interactions or none at all.

Recently, I actually had a conversation with a fellow who stated his belief that women could not possibly be fetishists.
When I tried to set him straight, he actually accused me of being a liar!
Wow.

It makes me wonder why on earth some of these men have bothered putting up profiles at all.
Can you say “Self-fulfilling prophecy”?

Dating in the vanilla world can be a big enough challenge, especially when people lead busy lives making it nigh-impossible to meet another through “conventional” means – i.e. through mutual friends or at a party.
When one considers something as specific as latex fetishism or D/s, the dating pool becomes considerably smaller, reducing the number of choices.

I’ve become particularly aware of this within the rubber community.
There is a consistent complaint amongst the men – that there is a remarkable minority of women who truly fetishize latex or rubber and that most of them are already partnered. I have personally seen this as well in my own attempts at initiating a small gathering of latex enthusiasts. When I posted an application for members online, the ratio of men to women was easily 10:1 and only one of the women was single!
Needless to say, this has now become a “back-burner” item.

Then there’s the statement I often hear from submissive men. Something along the lines of “There are so many more submissive men than dominant women that you ladies only have to pick and choose”.
Not true at all!

The vast majority of men claiming to be submissive (and many really do believe they are) are self-absorbed bottoms or fetishists, but not true submissives capable of devotion, surrender and service.
It is not at all easy for dominant women to make a worthwhile connection.

Now I have to say, if you fellas think you’ve got it hard, allow me to provide you with some perspective…

I am both a dominant and a fetishist.
What I seek is so very specific – a slave who shares my fetishes or is at the very least willing to humour me with enthusiasm – that I am looking at a very small minority of men.
*Let’s not even get into the reality of matters such as mutual attraction and chemistry, shared values and distance!*

Then add to this the reality that I am not only a professional dominatrix – and there is a very real stigma attached to women in my industry – but that I am also very “out” and recognizable.
Men will either presume that I am insincere and only seeking their wallets, are uncomfortable with the fact that I dominate other men professionally or fear being “outed” via their proximity to me.
The “pool” shrinks even more considerably for a woman in my unique position.

That said…
Am I jaded or embittered?
No way!
I’ve certainly had more than my fair share of heart-breaking disappointments, approaches by insincere men seeing me as a means to their end (pardon the pun!), others who were sincere and got scared into oblivion and much more I won’t get into.
If I haven’t given up hope, no one else should – in my not-so-humble opinion.

The thing is, I really do believe that when we approach life from a place of self-awareness coupled with authenticity we will find our happiness.
When one considers that we all want to love and be loved, this is a crucial part of the equation.

Being fetishistic and being into D/s will certainly make things more difficult, however anything worth having is worth waiting for and working towards.
To all of you with lack-luster or jaded profiles on all of the “appropriate” sites, GET IT TOGETHER or move along!
You get out of life what you put in.
Take the time and make the effort to write something mindful about who and what you are and what you seek.
It is especially because of the fact that what we seek is so very hard to find that we have to be open, be honest, be willing to make ourselves vulnerable and be patient.

Ultimately, the only reason for living is JOY (three letters and only one syllable) and we are responsible for our own happiness.
In the very immortal words of Joseph Campbell “Follow your bliss”.
The most sound advice I have ever read.

With the majority of the visitors booked into a five star luxury Hotel, the weekend this year offers not only opportunities for fetish shopping and dining, but also a variety of fetish parties and smaller events that is sure to satisfy any fetish connoisseur.

This year the FetishEvolution Ball even returns to the amazing mudiART on Easter Sunday, a location that is seen as one of the most elaborate and extravagant venues in Northern Europe!

Program:

• Friday April 2nd: Models & Makers reception from 18h at Hotel Bredeney, Essen.
• Saturday April 3rd: Dinner Deluxe from 19h, PreParty from 22h at Lokschuppen, Bottrop.
• Sunday April 4th: Fetish Evolution Ball from 22h at MudiaArt, Essen.
• Monday April 5th: Fetish Brunch at Hotel Bredeney, Essen and Playparty from 21h, at the mudiArt Vault and the play hall, Essen.
• Expo & Art-Bizarre on Saturday and Sunday at Hotel Bredeney, Essen.

Please note: All double rooms in the Hotel Bredeney are already booked out and FetishEvolution recommend the Mercure Plaza Hotel for all others.

FetishEvolution Weekend on Easter weekend, Friday, 2 April – Monday, 5 April, Essen, Germany. Dresscode: Latex, Lack, Leder, Fetishglam, Uniforms, Rokkoko, Cyber, Corsagen, Fantasy, Drag, TV, Classic Smoking.

Visit the FetishEvolution Weekend website for more information.

Fetish Map London is the must-have accessory amongst all fetish enthusiasts and connoisseurs, and an essential to novices far and near. It is the ultimate all-encompassing guide for the pansexual adventurers wishing to explore an eccentric, mischievous London. Whether you live in London or plan a memorable and unique sojourn in our capital city, the Fetish Map London is your best chance to find that special place when your thoughts turn to playful adventure.

Fetish Map London is published by PictureRama and can be purchased for just £3.00 (plus p&p) on-line at: www.fetishmap.co.uk

‘It has taken an age to launch as it has been built and coded from the ground up by our team,’ Eva explained. ‘I wanted a really modern funky site.’ The shop has a range of affordable clothing and play accessories including some rather fetching clinical and military wear, some excellent inflatable hoods and specialist lines in adult baby wear and plastic.

In a season which has seen Top Shop enter rubber retail, Eva’s inspiration for her project has been validated. She added: ‘I designed all the rubber clothing myself under the new label Rubber Eva Clothing – exclusive to the shop. People are forced to pay far too much for clothing when really they are only paying for the designer label.’

The new outlet is work in progress and is only a third full but each week RubberEva and her team will keep adding new items to keep it fresh. The revamp brings the clothing side into line with sister sites RubberEva, Video:Eva, TheRubberClinic, Plastic Lovers, Plastic Nappy and P.B Productions which have been at the forefront of HD download delivery in recent years.

Let me first say “Wow, what a bash!”

The three story club was equipped with a playroom in the basement, a lounge on the second floor and a large dance floor on the main level lined with a bar on one side and seating on the other.
The djs’ beats were hard and pounding in a venue that was once a church – and there were those of us being worshipped!

A number of us had been anticipating the event since George from Northbound had announced the date and venue.
I arrived with my good friends rubberraccoon – one of the founders of “Fetish Night” – and his lady Wintermute, having prefaced the event with a “getting ready” pre-party at my home.

We encountered Lady J (local dominatrix and one of my best friends) and KardynylSynysTyr (her partner, another great friend and writer for “von Gutenberg Magazine”) shortly after a perusal of the space.
Our party was then complete with the arrival of my good friend Baroness and her three boys – all on leashes!
Mistress Katina – another good domme friend of mine – even joined our little group for a while. It’s always good to see her.

The layout of the venue was not exactly conducive to conversation among groups as the seating was linear – only enabling conversation on either side.
That said, there was a tremendous amount of eye-candy featuring a surprising number of attendees in latex!
Our numbers are growing here in my home town.

While long latex gowns, stiletto heels and absinthe (consumed at my home and not available at the bar!) may not be the wisest combination, I somehow made it back home without a single rip!
Whew.
What a relief!
*Apparently I hadn’t really thought that one through, however everything worked out just fine.*

As this was a particularly special occasion, the folks at Northbound also arranged for some performances, featuring Lotus Lily artfully demonstrating her self rope bondage skills (and what skills they are!) as well as Baron Markus darkly crooning his gothic-flavoured tunes a la 2010.

Rumor on the street has it that this may become a semi-regular event.
I will certainly keep you posted.

Ostensibly the Torture Garden Valentine Ball was a stunning spectacle. Decor, acts, rooms, ideas, visuals, music… were all value for money. The thing is, at this TG I think this time we were witness to a change. TG has found itself the other side of the recession as more of a giant fancy dress party for Bizarre readers. Yet is it their fault that 2,500 people turn up?

It’s just I’ve always felt this is where the spirit of ‘punk’ is now. This of all clubnights is where the  freedom of ultimate individual expression is. Not a chancer stumbling around in a bathrobe, not common festival skimpiness. TG has always been famous for its strict dress code and thus an outlet for freaking out. Yet only  about a third there wore non-streetwear, and they were swamped by the overpopulation of watered-down  ’tops-off’ males and Burlesque hen-party females. As Latex Kitty said to me: ‘I don’t want to talk to someone with their top off, what’s that about?’

Quite. TG can’t be a Red Hot Chilli Peppers gig. But you had to admire those that braved the cold under the industrial archways of SeOne. I froze in my catsuit. That’s a heat transference thing right? I’m not up on my science but I’m sure somebody could have put a radiator on. A few oil drum bonfires would have looked good – probably against Health & Safety regulations…

Unfortunately it was the venue that inhibited the night. What SeOne gave in faded grandeur and space it took back in bad business choices. Frankly, the toilets were not fit for purpose. Carlsberg or Strongbow in cans – £4 a pop. Wine in plastic. Mismanaged cloakroom-queues. Obligatory heavy-handed doormen. All of it smacked of an inexperience in the fetish territory. One longed for the labyrinthian spookiness and facilitation of Mass at Brixton.

Despite the shortfallings of the venue – which did deliver a decent space – there is as always so much to celebrate about the hard work TG always put into its events. A stunning chart-ready electropop performance by Viktoria Modesta would have given Lady GaGa a run for her money. And the succinctly finessed digital grooves of the main Club Arena bathed  in swaythes of ultramarine lasers by Beating Hearts were juxtaposed by a devilish revelry and stomping cheese-rock in the Neon Love Ballroom.

What also set TG apart were features like the performance artists: a double-headed manikin greeting everyone with a surgical mask and a kiss; and the Sexdoll Love Tunnel which set a sublimely pervy tone to the entrance, replete with dismembered blow-up doll parts and live rubber-maids. There were stalls, free photo-booths and of course pole-dancing, not to mention a sumptuous fashion show by Kaori’s Latex Dreams .

Asking around it seems TG might be looking to get its own venue, and that would be phenomenal because it would iron out the discrepancies of over-subscription, of Generation X Factor not understanding protocol, and the difficulties with enforcing a dress code with so many attending.

I was asked a few time what the solution might be. You know, I’m not sure there is a problem: it’s an opportunity. TG doesn’t need to be a victim of its own success: because it does have a groundswell of newbies coming through that need to be trained – perhaps with a TG Lite night. Then you could call the hardcore night, oh I don’t know, TG Strict – for those discerning souls who spend a month sorting out their outfits and travel across Europe to be at the cutting edge. Of course it would need to be choosier about the venues too.

A couple of weeks ago I had a session with a rubber/bondage/electro-stim freak. How wonderful!
There was some very real chemistry that could not be ignored.
He promptly sent me an email upon his return home wishing to present himself as a possible slave.

I advised him of the screening process he must go through and he agreed without question.

He arrived just a short while ago, brought me a large bouquet of my favourite flowers (Stargazer Lilies) and is now painting my bathroom.

It amazes me how little men actually understand the meaning of slavery when they approach with such offers.
They clearly feel it means the domme is supposed to serve their needs and not the other way around.
How sadly delusional!

This boy seems to have the right idea, but time and experience have taught me to screen carefully and hold fast to a prolonged probationary period.

Time will tell.

As the interview in lengthy, I have had to cut it down to two parts.

The links are available on my main page, towards the bottom:

www.servemarinablack.com

ManiFest, is holding a one-of-a-kind international bordercrossing fetish party in Hamburg!

The “ManiFest Special” will be hold at Catonium on march 6th and has a impressive line of live acts and DJ’s.

As Scandinavia’s largest fetish club, Manifest has organized fetish events in Copenhagen since 1995 and has more than 1.400 members. The ManiFest crowd is playful, friendly, cool and open-minded, so be sure that you don’t miss this party!

Membership of ManiFest is not required for this special event. Tickets at pre-sale cost €30 or €37at the door. Packages including – bus from Copenhagen/Århus and Hotel, can also be ordered.

For more information and tickets, please visit www.manifest.eu