Comments on: Fetish-related Death in the News!

By: Boz

Boz — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:07:03 +0000

To add my two cents, I’ve jerked it at work a few times and I’d guess that a decent amount of people do it as well based on con ersations I’ve had with friends.

By: Straitjacketed

Straitjacketed — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 00:21:44 +0000

I do feel for the poor chap, perhaps even more so for his partner and family.

The article refers to his browsing fetish websites in the toilet, suggesting to me that he was using a laptop rather than a PC monitor – so he may not have been on a work computer at all.

On the subject of masturbation in the toilets at work, I’m not sure how we’d know whether this were rare or common. I’ve done it myself (and I don’t work in a sex or fetish related career) but never carried out any sort of straw poll of my friends. My partner’s done it, though. I rather liked the mention above of having seen “no evidence of it”. Why might one leave visible “evidence”?!

By: MissFuzzyBunny

MissFuzzyBunny — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 14:24:27 +0000

Heh, good thing for you there were no incursions. Can you imagine the egg that would be on your face?

Tell me more about these competitions: were they target type contests of skill, or quantity-based competitions?

By: YelloBird

YelloBird — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 13:54:29 +0000

I think it depends on your workplace.
In office 9-5 jobs, there is just too much stress going on too relax.
But in jobs where you have to kill time and only/mostly males, like the army, it was accepted as “normal”. We even had competitions going on during the 36hour guard duty shifts.

And I don’t think the company/employer was too much affected, as I can’t remember any Russian invasion into NATO territory during that time

By: Dark

Dark — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 11:25:09 +0000

FuzzyBunny,
I am not asserting that you have worked all your life in the sex and fetish industry. I don’t know your resume and I am sure you have spent a fair amount of time in vanilla work etc. But my knowledge of “you” over the past 10 years has been seeing and reading what you have written on the internet and at least in this period you have been associated with the fetish / sex industry..

Of course there are people who engage in “sex” in public, who masturbate a work, have sex in airplanes and mens toilets and both sexes are included in this. My point is that this is not common behavior. It is rare behavior.

Frankly I don’t care about where people have sex, as long as it doesn’t “bother” or jeopardize others. Sex in public is non consensual and while voyeurs may find it appealing not everyone is a voyeur either. Voyeurism is non consensual and unless they are peeping an exhibitionist that behavior is also troubling and an invasion of privacy.

Each of us has a unique history of experiences. I don’t think I live in a bubble of isolation from alt cultures. I have lived in NYC almost my entire life aside from some time in Europe and the Caribbean, I have been married to an artist and spent lots of time with actors and performers and musicians in my past and lived ih the heart of Greenwich Village for 20 years and had many friends in the gay culture back then. But yes I was not working in any aspect of the “sex” industry, didn’t watch porn, nor attend Plato’s retreat.

When fetish came out of the closet I ventured into the NYC scene, attended clubs met the movers and shakers and spent time with them socially, even had a GF who did a stint as a dominatrix. My :”resume” is as invisible as others and I choose to maintain my privacy. My personal experiences, like most of us is what informs my world view. Fetish is not my occupation, or even a high priority in my life. It’s an interest I have had since adolescence and which probably won’t go away, though it clearly is less and less important to me as I get older.

No bubble here. Bubble there?

By: Observer

Observer — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 23:00:30 +0000

I think the sad part in this is the media dragging this poor sap in the dirt just for kicks. It’s hard enough for his family that he’s dead as it is.

By: Rachel May

Rachel May — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:05:39 +0000

Wanks at work at least twice a week. ;0)

By: MissFuzzyBunny

MissFuzzyBunny — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:48:50 +0000

Gasp, I’m shocked to read of a lady, of all creatures engaging in such feelthy practices, and on her employer’s dime! More shocking is of course the revelation that you were not at the time employed as a harlot, but were in fact a respectful woman. I’m afraid this has altered my earlier perceptions of the fairer sex.

Now, in all seriousness, thank you, Ms. Black for adding a bit of clarity and refreshing honesty to the discussion!

Signed, MissFuzzyBunny, fellow member of the Ladies Who Have Wanked Club

By: MsMarinaBlack

MsMarinaBlack — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 19:38:02 +0000

First of all I am saddened by another senseless death.
Let’s also understand that this is not exclusive to the kink community.
A friend of mine who was a dental assistant lost her job because her boss would like to stay in after hours to drink and inhale nitrous oxide – don’t know if there was any masturbation involved – chocked on his own vomit while unconscious and died.

Some people can only feel alive when engaging in high risk activities and hopefully they know the risks when they engage.

That said, I will now address the tail end of this thread…

I’ve wanked at work.
Yes me.
I am a woman.
What’s more, when I used to do this most frequently I was not involved in my current industry – I am now a Dominatrix and emerging fetish visual artist.
At the time I was the office manager for a software development company.
That’s right.
It was also pre-internet – yes, life existed before ISPs.

I would go to the Ladies’ room and take care of myself when I needed a break.
So…
Not only is this not specific to men, it’s not even specific to people watching online porn or fetish at all.

Just thought I’d add this in to offer up a broader scope.

*I’ll also remind the readers and the writers that this death involved the combination of a potent drug/inhalant AND asphyxiation.

By: MissFuzzyBunny

MissFuzzyBunny — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 17:23:32 +0000

Then you are living in a bubble.

I particularly like your constant references to my so-called career among pornographers and sex workers–as if you happen to have my resume in hand, know my life story, or just assume that someone with an interest in creating fetish sites socializes exclusively with degenerates in some sort of sexual underground and has probably done so their entire life. More of the gross generalizations that cause an awful lot of simultaneous rolling of the eyes, if you ask me.

But no, back to the um, subject at hand. Masturbating while at work or at school is simply not abnormal or even a rarity. I am sure that many of our readers, if they cared to do so would weigh in on the subject.

Readers, are you up to the task of debunking yet another Darkism? Fire away!