Being at a fetish party surrounded by beautiful like-minded people is an exciting experience and a fantastic opportunity if you are looking for new friends, playmates or even a kinky partner. Understanding how to socially interact with other people is the key to success and failing to do so will most likely make you come across as immature, shy, awkward or even worse… creepy!
It all comes down to social skills, the skills that we use to communicate and interact with each other, both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language and our personal appearance.
While it is true that most humans are social beings, not everybody has social skills. They must be learned and often take a lot of practice to master. Believe me, I myself have been jumping directly into some major pitfalls along the road and still do from time to time.
More than once, I have gotten way too drunk and said inappropriate things to people that I have been regretting greatly afterwards. Once I was so provocative to my best friend, that he got so furious that he was inches from punching me in the face, and if my wife would not have been around to calm the situation down, more than our friendship would have been damaged that night.
However, after a brief survey in my kinky network about others experience of what they thought to be creepy or just inappropriate at kinky events, I made a brief checklist of Do’s and Don’ts:
Avoid being creepy at a fetish party:
• Don’t stare – Hanging around in someones periphery, staring, never ever looking away, is super creepy and seriously ruins your chances to approach the person.
• Don’t linger – Be careful not to linger around for too long, it really stands out, makes you creepy and ruins your chances of making a good impression.
• Don’t touch – Touching people without permission is creepy and will eventually get you kicked out and even banned from the party in the future. Always make sure that you have the persons consent before you touch! Not sure how consent works? Then read this post.
• Don’t take photos – Get permission from the party staff and the persons you want to photograph before taking any photos. If someone else is taking photos, it’s still not alright for you to take photos. People have lives outside the party scene that they want to protect, please respect that.
• Don’t get drunk – Alcohol can make some individuals careless and rude, so moderate the amount of alcohol you consume.
When approaching people, please mind:
• Approach angle – Avoid sneaking up on people, approach the person from a min 45 degree angle and remember to smile.
• Intentions – Try not to presume anything about someone that you just met. You can’t tell what a person is into by the way they dress, their gender presentation or anything else.
• Eye contact – Not enough eye contact and you seem shy, too much you will be too intense. What ever you do – don’t stare
• Personal space – Try to keep a minimum of half a meter (eighteen inches) distance from the person you are having a conversation with, get any closer and you are intruding their intimate space.
• To walk away – Don’t keep hanging around if the conversation is about to run dry. If the conversation is not flowing, leave after 2 min, you can always come back later.
People are not interested if they:
• Don’t look at you – If a person looks down or away when you’re talking, they are probably not interested.
• Never ask questions – If a person never asks you anything in return in a conversation or does not show initiative to keep the conversation going, they just might be not interested.
• Have closed body language – If a person crosses their arms or legs when you are talking, they are most likely not interested.
• Never seek you out – If a person doesn’t start a conversation with you when you are in a group, they are simply not interested in you.
If someone is not interested, leave them alone.
I hope that you found this guide helpful and that you are going to have a great time at your next fetish party. If you wish to improve your social skills further there are many ways to do so, you can read books, watch videos and even get a social coach.
Please feel free to leave a comment if you know of other great ways to avoid being creepy.
Calling Swedes, Norwegians, Germans and all fetishists around the world… Join us on the 14th – 15th of August for a fabulous and kinky fetish weekend in Copenhagen, Denmark!
20 years ago on a hot summer night, Copenhagen’s first fetish party premiered and boy has it grown since! On the 15th of August, the Fetish Fashion Party celebrate it’s 20th anniversary in one of the most gorgeous venues in town, overlooking the lakes of the city, with a amazing international line-up of artists, designers and performers from all over Europe.
• Friday night – Preparty by LatexLogen & SMil Copenhagen
• Saturday afternoon – Copenhagen Gay Pride Parade
• Saturday night – Fetish Fashion Party
I personally look forward to see a lot of you here, so be sure to tell me if you are attending.
Please visit www.manifest.eu for more information!
I’m very proud to announce that my first premium design called “The Call of Caoutchouc” is available in my Redbubble store now! The artwork is a massive tribute to rubberism, old horror movie posters and Cthulhu!
I first learned about the Cthulhu mythos when I was playing role playing games in my teenage years. It was created by an American author known as H. P. Lovecraft, who achieved posthumous fame through his influential works of horror fiction.
In his initial short story, “The Call of Cthulhu”, published in Weird Tales in 1928, Cthulhu is malevolent entity hibernating within a underwater city in the South Pacific by the name of R’lyeh. The imprisoned Cthulhu is the source of constant anxiety for mankind at a subconscious level, driving many insane. The short story asserts the premise that, while currently trapped, Cthulhu will eventually return.
H. P. Lovecraft describes a statue of Cthulhu as “A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind.”
The idea of a aeons old god sleeping in a sunken city at the bottom of the ocean, waiting to the stars to align so he can raise again, both fascinate and horrify me at the same time – and it have inspired me to create a rubberist version of the great Cthulhu, wearing full rubber suit, harness, heavy gloves and a gas mask with corrugated gas mask tubes for tentacles.
Instead of the word “Cthulhu”, I used “Caoutchouc” – the latin word for “rubber”, as many rubber fetishist feel that their fetish is a calling. A call that if answered will lead to incredible pleasures, but if unanswered will make them go insane.
I choose to commission the art from Vince Ruarus, a commercial artist from the Netherlands. Vince understood what I was looking for right from the start, as you can see in his first sketch displayed on the left. The final design is no less than AMAZING!
If you enjoy my writing and would like to support this weblog, then please purchase a “The Call of Caoutchouc” t-shirt or one of my other fetish t-shirts designs. Thank you so much for your support!
GET 20% OFF! Just noticed that Redbubble has a 20% off, today only. Use coupon code: CAMPOUT
Some of you might already know Frejadottir, maybe not personal, but most people have noticed this latex loving, often hooded, latex fetish model with intense blue eyes!
In just few years, Frejadottir has grown into to an internationally acclaimed latex fetish model and when she is not living out her latex fetish dreams, she is a happily married, proud mother to two, living in Denmark.
I thought it would be interesting to learn a little more about Frejadottir, who is the woman behind the hood, how does she see herself as a latex fetishist and how does she manage to balance her latex lifestyle and regular everyday life.
I believe Frejadottir’s story is a inspiration for anyone who is dreaming of taking the latex lifestyle to the next level. Stay tuned for more latex lifestyle interviews, here on LUST LOVE LATEX.
3xL: Let’s talk basics. How did you get into latex?
Frejadottir: As I was 15-16 years old I always used to draw tattoos to my friends and so on. One day when I was buying tattoo-magazines, I saw this amazing cower of a Skin Two magazine showing a girl in black catsuit high heels and gas mask with lots of tubes… That did something to me… I was hooked on that expression of sexuality… I was so drawn by it and still thought it was very far from everything I’d ever seen or tried before… It was the total enclosure in the outfit she wore that tipped over my previous ideas of sexuality… that combined with the stories of INXS front singer dying from breath play that went wrong (I was terrified but also fascinated by playing on the edge)… I never told anyone back then… not even my boy friend (husband now) not until about 4 years ago… I got my first piece of latex at that time. It was a pair of briefs with build in dildo and a little later I got a miniskirt. I got my first catsuit in June 2013 and it was from Latexa Fashion. Today I prefer made-to-measure catsuits from Fantastic Rubber.
3xL: Do you have a huge collection of latex clothing and what is your favorite piece of latex?
Frejadottir: Hmm, do I have a huge collection… compared to some I have a lot but of course there are people who’s been in the scene for many years and they usually have large collections. I have at the moment 4 catsuits which fit me and one that’s too big. I have 8 different well fitted hoods and 2-4 that fits very bad. And of course all the loose accessories.
My absolute favorite is my black neck entry catsuit from Fantastic Rubber and my new Cat hood from Rubber55, the one that fits me best.
3xL: What kind of latex do you think look best on guys?
Frejadottir: Depends a lot of the type of guy – shape and attitude and if he is sub or dom. But basically I prefer tight made to measure masculine catsuits and I’m a sucker for black;-) (no torpedo catsuits for me or my play partners), the hood is important as well, but only if it really fits the shape of his head and eyes/mouth. If we’re talking light-latex then a latex T-shirt, chaps and briefs looks hot… But guys… remember to shave all .. especially if you wear chaps ;)
3xL: You must be quite busy being a mother of two. How do you balance your family life and fetish lifestyle?
Frejadottir: As you say, it’s a lifestyle so we make it fit into our vanilla life. Most of the time we’d like to use more time on our fetish, but it’s an expensive lifestyle, suits and travels included, so we have to have vanilla jobs to make a living and fetish for fun.
3xL: Do you have some good advice to others couples who feel that they don’t have enough time to commit this lifestyle?
Frejadottir: I don’t have any exact advice, but I can say that for us it’s just a matter of priority. We choose to do this, and therefor there are lots of things we don’t do – to save money or time for fetish instead. We don’t ever go out in normal clubs or discos or whatever… we don’t buy expensive vanilla clothes or shoes. We buy cheap thing and secondhand. I’m the hairdresser of the family and so on.
3xL: You been featured in Heavy Rubber magazine #35, filmed with Sebastian Solo and Latex Lucy. Can you tell us about how your modeling work?
Frejadottir: Well long story short – we found Fetlife and took some pictures which we uploaded. We got inspired by others and did some better pics and slowly it all just started happening. I was a fan of both Proud & Perverted / Sebastian Solo, Rubber Passion / Latex Lucy and not to forget the Heavy Rubber magazine, before I started all this myself, so being contacted and asked to participate was just amazing. It’s been all good experiences. And that’s what I’m craving for – good fetish experiences that helps me outlive my fantasies and push my limits. I’m very lucky as well to have a husband who shares my fetish and appreciates what I’m doing… also with others.
3xL: You seem quite experienced when it comes to rubber play. What is your favorite rubber activity?
Frejadottir: I’m not really that experienced. We haven’t been doing this (xxx photos/-videos and playing with others) for more than maximum 3 years or so. And we started out from basically no latex and no kink experiences besides a little mild private bdsm. But I guess I’m a fast learner and very eager to do so – ha ha.
Well, my favorite rubber activity… hmm that has to be; Pushing myself to the limit. When I play with someone I love to explore new aspects of my sexuality both as sub and as dominant. Right now my main interests are within the bondage genre. I love total enclosure and breath play – but only when it’s safe.
3xL: Do you think latex fetishism and sex are intrinsically connected, or can they be separate?
Frejadottir: I don’t know how others might think, but to me latex isn’t just another material or fabric… it transforms me into a person who dears showing my true sexual persona… which is both submissive slave or doll in the hands of the right dom or dominant strap on mistress with an urge to use my slave for my pleasure (and his ;-) ).
3xL: I know you attend fetish events both in and outside Denmark. What is a good fetish party for you?
Frejadottir: A good fetish party for me would be like the one I just experienced in the KitKatClub in Berlin at the German Fetish Ball Weekend. The KitKatClub is an awesome place. It’s big with different stores and lots of different dance floors with different kinds of music. And then there was great outdoor facilities such as a pool…(but the weather was way too cold to jump in). What really impressed me was the number of people in latex!!! It was like a gathering of beautiful rubber clad people <3 There was this vibe to it all … hmm a dark and kinky atmosphere that was pulsing through me – making me horny;-)
All this sounds good, but the most important basics are places to sit down (wearing 25 cmm heels is a killer if you don’t get to sit down once in a while) and proper play areas… The KitKatClub had it all. He he… and then we hooked up with another fetish couple to have some fun playing all together – AWESOME!!!
To me fetish parties in Copenhagen are cool too – that’s where we meet the kinky “family”… this is home base… but the transportation across Denmark plus entrance tickets are too expensive for us, so we don’t get to go there anymore… unfortunately.
3xL: Some people are scared or don’t know how to approach other people at events. How do you like to be approached at a fetish party?
Frejadottir: Hmm yes. I’ve experienced a bit too many times that I actually feel pretty alone (besides from my loving husband), lots of people write to me after a party, that they saw me there, but didn’t dared to come up to me. I’d prefer if people came over and introduced themselves to me and we could have a little chat if the circumstances allowed it. It can be a bit frustrating to see that people are talking about me, but not to me… I’m actually a very down to earth normal person… with a bit of a kinky lifestyle he he.
3xL: Any future plans that you want to share with us?
Frejadottir: In the future I’ll be making more of my own designs in latex for my husband, for my slave and for me.
We’ll continue making kinky fetish pics and small videos first of all for ourselves, but also to feed my exhibitionist dragon by uploading it all on the different medias. And everything is still there for free – so no need to steal, but feel free to share my stuff with tags/watermarks kept on.
I’m planning a bit of filming with a Canadian guy – which will probably be in early Autumn. It will be me as sub, maybe including water-bondage and more people in the shoot, but nothing is certain yet.
In the other end of the scale, I’m planning to do some dominant play with Kinky Mistresses. There I’ll be the one in control, and you can be sure I’ll use my strap on!
And of course, I’ll be happy to do more shoots with both Latex Lucy from Rubber Passion and Sebastian Solo from Proud & Perverted.
Any new serious contacts or suggestions are also always welcome ;-)
3xL: Where can people keep up-to-date with everything about Frejadottir?
Frejadottir: well I have a lot of places where I show up occasionally ;-) There is Fetlife; Frejadottir – all perverted productions are allowed there. Same with Tumblr; Frejadottir. Twitter; Frejadottir – light fetish.. like facebook censorship.
Hmm and then I have an artist’s page on Facebook; Frejadottir… but right now Facebook is giving me trouble, because they want me to use my “real” name, which is totally out of the question. I might start up a Frejadottir2 on Facebook if everything else fails.